Neboj sa čistoty - si to ty

9:24am: LA VA is releasing a CD :)
My band LA VA is releasing a CD this year!! And even more to that - by a great independent/alternative Slovak label Slnko Records.

I am so happyyyyy :)

10:25am: Stories of the beginning spring

Okolo zápästia hady, varené pokrmy syčia pod pokrievkou. Niekedy neviem, ako ďalej, zaprášené knihy receptov, nemáš pre mňa liek. Z postele sa dvíham, nútim sa vstávať, počúvať príbehy začínajúcej jari.

:::

Dopadá mäkko na rozohriatu zem, chvíľu niečo viem. “It´s been here, silent all these years.” (Tori Amos)

:::

Nechám to tak, natiahnem na gitaru nové struny.

Zuním.

:::

There are snakes around my wrists, the meals being cooked hiss under the pot-lid. Sometimes I do not know how to go on, dusty cookery books, you have no prescription for me. I raise myself from the bed, force myself to get up, listen to the stories of the beginning spring.

:::

It´s falling softly upon the warmed-up ground, I feel aware for a moment. "It´s been here, silent all these years." (Tori Amos)

:::

I´ll let go. Put new strings on my guitar.

Resounding.
 

11:27am: Do swojej zimy/My own winter

Północ mnie uderzyła
odbiciem siebie samej

Odmróż mi na chwilę okno
niech widzę

do swojej zimy

:::

The midnight has hit me
with my own reflection

De-frost my window for a while
so that I can see

my own winter


 

 

 

11:23am: Vianočná/Christmas

Hviezda
nech nás zachráni
na studenej ceste

Noc je hustá,
cez les nevidieť,
blúdim

Slnko ma pevnejšie drží,
oči sa snáď otvoria
v tej správnej chvíli

Budeme cítiť med

:::

May the star save us
on our cold path

The night is thick,
I can´t see through the woods,
astray

The sun is holding me tighter,
my eyes might open
in the right moment

We will taste honey

:::

* Šťastné Vianoce a veselý nový rok všetkým *

* Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year to all *

3:10pm: SAVE ME
Ever hated tyres? Before, I considered them innocent unnoticed elements of A car. No special attention.

But NOW! Translating a technical text from Polish to Czech about this silly black ununderstandable (not to mention untranslatable) things.

(Wish there was some May Day to help me at least :)

5:23pm: Mud and website

Blatisto

Nablatili sme si.
Aby vyliezli dážďovky,
aby ožilo mŕtve a hnilé.

Muddy

We have bespattered ourselves.
To let the earth-worms come out,
to let the dead and rotten revive.

All my dear ones...I got my own website...with some photos, recording samples and my poetry. Planning to add mp3 to be downloaded later. However, learning how it all works :)
Hope you like it.
Happy New Year...

www.christophory.sk

11:11pm:

 When you are questioning, I always surrender. I feel you like a lonesome night train passing  - I want to join you, at least as the ticket collector, the least beloved one.

However, it is up to me to keep the faith. That it is good that you are lonesome, that this is the way how to deal with things. Realizing this, I believe I am stronger and stronger every day. Harder on the surface, yet hoping to be soft. Somewhere for you to find. 

10:37pm: Bratislava in the rain. It´s so warm that the ground gets muddy. I get muddy during the week, to cheer up at the end of the week, seeing you happy with me. Seeking you happy with me.


Sending warm embraces to all of you. Not the muddy ones, though :)

6:48pm: Listy čoskoro nasledovali orechové plody - vždy sú prvé. Opadali choré.
Nemôžeš obaliť korene asfaltom a myslieť si, že už nerastú. Že raz tým očistíš záhradu.
Dnes vo mne znie všetko - čo sa zdalo - minulé ako tepúce srdce. (J-e-s-e-ň)


The nuts were soon followed by the leaves - they are always first. They fell down sick.
You can´t wrap the roots in asphalt thinking they will not grow any more. That it will purify the garden. 
Today all that - I thought - was past resounds in me like a beating heart. (A-u-t-u-m-n)

4:00pm:  Came back from Barcelona. Realising I am like a wave - all that has ever happened to me is etched upon my heart and skin like various styles on facades of buildings. In a row, everything continues forming the street carrying my name.

I miss the warmth of the days though waiting to be entchanted by the autumn again...

Vrátila som sa z Barcelony. Uvedomujem si, že som ako vlna - všetko, čo sa mi kedy prihodilo, mám vyryté na svojom srdci a koži ako odlišné štýly na fasádach domov. V rade všetko pokračuje, vytvára ulicu nesúcu moje meno.

Chýba mi teplo dní, aj keď sa rada nechám zase očariť touto jeseňou...

10:16pm: Si mi soľou zeme. Zaborím sa po členky, šťastná, že sa podo mnou hýbe, opäť sa cítim plodná. Chcem vyletieť, iba tak ako listy smú v jesennom vetre chýliť sa ku koncu. "I sway to the music I don´t comprehend."

You are the salt to my ground. I dive to my ankles, happy, that it moves under me, feeling fertile again. I want to fly, the way the leaves can in the autumn wind inclined to their end. "I sway to the music I don´t comprehend."


Leaving to Barcelona tomorrow. With my choir. Hugs to all the loved ones.

9:13pm:

Žiadna korisť z dňa. Nič som si neodniesla, nechávam padať. 

Zacelili chodník, žiadne jamy, rozďavujúce sa na mňa ako rany.


No prey out of the day. I´ve brought nothing home, I´m letting it fall down.

They joined up the sidewalk, no more pits, opening their mouths at me - like wounds.

9:51pm: Spev zaseknutý v hrdle. Zatisnutý dymom. Neviem, čo by som povedala, aby to znelo veselšie. Niečo sa otvára, ako puklina vyschnutej zeme. Nechcem sa premeniť na blato. Nechcem sa.

Singing stuck in my throat. Pushed by the smoke. I don´t know what to say to make it sound merrier. Something is opening, like a crack in a dry ground. I don´t want to change into mud. I don´t want myself.

4:38pm: The rain
Prší a je to úľava. "The pain will wash away." 

Som vďačná za akúkoľvek sentimentálnu hudbu, ktorú mám doma.

Je to divoké. Ako všetko zo mňa odkvapkáva...


It´s raining and it´s a relief. "The pain will wash away."

Being grateful for all the sentimental music I have at home.

It´s so wild. As it all keeps dripping away from me...

3:33pm: Na vlásku

vešiam svoju lásku
na tenký vlas

nech cítiš jej váhu
keď ho odstrihneš

veriť
že dopadne
do dlaní

musím

I´m hanging my love
on a thin hair

so that you would feel its weight
when you cut it off

to believe
that it falls down
to the hands

I must

10:11pm:

Ako dlho sa ešte dá vystáť to ticho? Nevítaná čakám v rade na Tvoje slovo, ale dnes nie, dnes nedostanem ani omrvinku. Budem čakať, kým mi niekto otvorí dvere a usmeje sa, lebo ma už dávno nevidel. Ty si ma už dávno rád nevidel. Ale nie, neoblečiem sa do popola, nebudem šuchotať ako tajná myš. Vykročím svojou malou cestou ku šťastiu.

How long can I stand this silence? Uninvited I wait in a line for your word but no, not today, not a crumble. I will wait until someone opens the door and smiles, for they haven´t seen me for a while. You haven´t been glad seeing me for a while. But no, I won´t dress into ashes, I won´t squeek like a hidden mouse. I shall approach my own tiny road to luck. 

10:41pm:

Cítim, že sme si tak ďaleko...keď Ťa v noci prebúdzam k dotykom...A teraz si vysoko nado mnou...v lesoch a horách a ja som tu v meste, nad riekou, čo ma drží ešte chvíľku v koryte...budem zase spať, aby som zabudla na to všetko. Čo nie sme.

I feel how distant we are...waking you up to touch me...And now your far above me...in the woods and mountains and I am here in the city, above the river that holds me in its bed for one more while...I will sleep on - to forget it all. That we are not.

6:57pm: Varím kukuricu. Jej zuby sú žlté a mŕtve ako ja. Spieva mi to Pearl Jam. Ďalší čierny jesenný večer - v srdci len drzé ďasná a nevypovedané NIČ. Sa nedeje.

I´m cooking corn. Its teeth is yellow and dead like me. So Pearl Jam is singing. Another black autumn evening - in my heart there are just cheeky jaws and an unsaid NOTHING. Is going on.

7:51pm:

Je nejako prázdno. Na víkend sa má ochladiť o 10 stupňov a ja premýšľam, či sa zase obalím lístím, neskôr snehom a budem si spokojne hibernovať a tváriť sa, že nič necítim.

 

V tomto meste netečie poriadna rieka. Neviem nič o prúde. A neviem ani nič o sebe.

 

It´s so empty somehow. At the weekend it should get colder by 10 degrees and I´m thinking whether I´m going to wrap myself up into the leaves, later on with snow and hibernate peacefully, acting I don´t feel anything.

 

There is no proper river flowing in this city. I don´t know anything about the stream. And nothing about myself.

 

7:01pm: Ty stále
Vďaka, že v Tebe je ešte hudba, že ešte bdieš po nociach a ja som s Tebou. Medzi všetkým haraburdím na balkóne ťa v skrytosti pozorujem a očami sa Ti dávam celá. Vraj je v nich les. Ale Ty nezablúdiš. Ešte ma stále poznáš!

Thank you for music is still inside of you, you´re still awake at nights and I am with you. Amongst all the trash at the balcony I keep observing you secretly and I am giving myself whole to you - with my eyes. They say there is a forest in them. But you won´t go astray! You still know me!

9:43am: Napísala som slová na papier - nech zhoria na popol, keď ich prečítali povolané oči. Ešte myšlienky sú moje, za ktoré sa nemusím hanbiť. V nich vážim ešte pár gramov, stojím za pár drobných. I never want to fall in love again.

I´ve written words on the paper - may they burn into ashes as soon as read by those to whom they were meant to. My thoughts are still mine, I don´t have to be ashamed of them. In them I still weigh a few grammes, I´m worth a few coins. I never want to fall in love again.

9:46am: He´s been the most patient one. Came to me in the mountains and allowed me to hold his hand. I´m deeply grateful for this. I´m trying to learn again about love, how to be true.

a rieka to vie
pozná ma až do špiku kostí
bude ma chrániť
srdca sa zhostí

a nepustí do neho 
hostí z hostín

11:10am:

Rozsypala som svoj život ako mak. Zmenila som všetky kľúče, bolo pre Teba zamknuté, keď si stál na prahu. Ľutujem, že ma stromy nevarovali, nenaučila som sa od nich stáť. Len zmietať sa vetrom a búrkami.

I can see my life scattered like poppy. I changed all my keys, the doors were closed to you, while you were waiting to enter. I pity that I wasn´t warned by the trees, I haven´t learnt by them how to stand still. I was merely tossed in the wind and storms.

9:26am: Jar prichádza!!! The spring is coming!

I feel the Earth move under my feet!

(I feel my heart start trembling
whenever you´re around

Oh darling, when you´re near me
and you tenderly call my name

I know that my emotions
are something I just can´t tame...

Carol King)

10:23pm:

Čítam v sebe ako v očiach rýb, že už neverím ani jednému mihnutiu viečka. Do krvi sa primiešala ešte teplá sviečka. A keď sa nikto nedotýka, prestávam aj tlieť.

I read in myself like in the eyes of the fish that I don´t believe in even single twinkle of the eye-lid. Into the blood a yet warm candle has mixed. And when nobody touches I even stop mouldering.